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On my birthday eve, I stayed up alone with a six-pack of Saint Arnold’s Christmas Ale. Oversized t-shirt, no bra, black lace hip-hugging panties, and my favorite fuzzy socks. I waited for midnight to come. I sat in the middle of my bed, put a single candle into a huge scoop of mint chocolate chip ice cream and blew it out.

I have a head full of stormy nights and black clouds. I am so alone. I have a heart that is far too heavy to carry. I still fantasize about single-edge razor blades. I have debt. I have strained relationships with my family. I don’t believe in much, but since I was a little girl, I liked to play pretend that in wishes there is magic. Four and a half beers in. I could’ve wished for anything to bring peace to my chaotic world, but there I sat, closing my eyes, seeing the neon lights that are yours, blowing and wishing for only you.

I don’t want to write this, and what I mean by that is that I don’t want a chunk of my heart in your hands.

You sly beautiful thief, but there you are, holding it captive.

Tell me how it feels in that sexy palm of yours. Yes, I said sexy, everything about you is, from that crease between your eyebrows to every single hair you grow on your beard. The way you look makes me lose my train of my thought. Where was I?

Oh, yes, tell me how that part of my vital muscle feels.

Does it flutter when you finally think enough of me to bother to call? Is it enough to let you in on the things your voice does to other parts of my body? Is it cold to the touch and weighted on the days you disappear? Has it told you how I ache for you? I’ll hunt you down to burn it if it’s told you that I have cried actual tears because of you.

I lay awake at night cursing you because there’d be no getting it back even with hostage negotiations.

I knew the moment I saw you waiting for me at that hotel bar that you’d be an addiction. Now here I am, shaking, cold sweats, biting my nails down to stubs because it’s been too long since I kissed you.

That night, I had never wanted anything more than for you to put hands on me. I didn’t give a fuck that it felt like you could be the death of me. I questioned my sanity, I called myself crazy because I felt it in my bones that nobody was ever meant for me as much as you were. It made me want to delete your number, run far away from your reach and never see you again. It made me want to run towards you and collide into you. Like, fuck it if I crashed into your ocean, tiny little pieces of shipwreck left to float to shore or left to sink. Fuck it if it meant I was getting lost and drowning in your mouth.

I remember feeling like I was burning white hot from the inside out. I had to keep on taking sips of my iced water. It wasn’t the wasabi. It wasn’t the sake. It was you.

It’s still you.

Can’t you see the fire? Can’t you smell the smoke?

Don’t you see me setting off flares for you to come and find me?

Look at what you started.

You said you felt something real and that you knew I felt it too. Well, where the fuck are you?

I think I’ve gone completely mental. I think maybe I made you up.

I touch myself and try to think of anyone else, but I can’t. It’s you making me wet, it’s your fingers and your tongue I think about when I masturbate. Saturday night I danced, let some stranger come up behind me and grind on me. For a couple of songs, I imagined you were him. I pushed him when I turned around because I wasn’t being greeted by your smile or your eyes. What I’m saying is that I’ve come to realize I don’t want anybody that isn’t you.

I dream about you.

I dream about going away alone with you. I have this thing for hotel rooms. You lay me down in the middle of a bed in one, tie my wrists together above my head and gnaw on my neck. You kiss me and suck on my skin like it was a sugar cube. Even in my dreams, I beg you to tear into me. I beg you to consume me down to the bone. I feel every supernova in every galaxy inside me watching you lick your lips clean.

I dream about you painting my back in shades of red and in shades of pink. I wake up panting. My hair on the back of my neck sticky and sweaty. Some nights I wake up calling out your name.

Would it be too forward to tell you I want to hold it in my mouth forever?

I dream about a house. I dream about a kitchen with an island counter where I leave you little love notes each morning. The wine rack is always full. The wine glasses are always overflowing. There’s always tea in the pantry. It always smells like something is baking and like espresso. I dream about a nightstand where I leave you poems. I’m always leaving books on the coffee table but you never mind. On Saturday mornings, the music is always on low. I sing while I make you breakfast, still feeling the things you made me feel years ago. When you wake up, the first thing you always say is “hi beautiful.”

I can’t keep dreaming about you.

I can’t keep thinking about you like this.

I don’t want to.

You make me feel so special one day then leave me to wonder who I am to you. Sometimes it feels like the answer is nobody. Nothing has stung like this in a long time.

I’m stuck somewhere between wanting to block your number and wanting to pick up the phone to call you. I’m stuck somewhere between wanting to fuck you until your head goes numb and wanting to slap you. I’m stuck somewhere between wanting to break you to pieces and wanting to give you all the parts of me I am barely keeping glued together.

I am feeling way too much for you and I’m afraid of it.

It takes all the strength I have to admit this, but I think I fell for you. Undoing this should’ve been my only wish.

I have fallen for you and I kind of hate you for it. TC mark


Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com/natalia-vela/2018/11/i-have-fallen-for-you-and-i-kind-of-hate-you-for-it/

Aries: March 21st-April 19th

Love is not always going to be exciting in the way you expect it to be. It’s okay to be excited about love, and the beginning can often feel like the best part of it all. Yet not everything stays exciting 24/7, and sometimes things can get a little boring for a small period of time. Rather than chasing the next new exciting temptation, learn to bring back the excitement again into what you have. You’ll enjoy the challenge, and you’ll be surprised at how much your relationship will flourish.

Taurus: April 20th-May 20th

Love is not meant to fit into the cookie cutter picture you’ve always determined it would. Steady, loyal, and patient love is an asset not too many people come by in life, and it’s the type of love you possess in full magnitude. Yet you need to be aware that change is bound to happen in all relationships, especially as people themselves grow and change throughout the course of their lives. And this isn’t something to fear. Loving people throughout their growth is something you could stand to learn and watch as they love you right back in return. That kind of love truly is remarkable.

Gemini: May 21st-June 20th

Love is not going to answer all of your questions. Meeting someone who can keep up with you in all your conversations and pursuits is someone worth holding onto. Yet no one meets their “perfect match” in every single facet: some people aren’t always going to understand you. Yet the ones who truly love you will take the time to try, and take the time to learn. Making decisions is tough, but choosing to love someone throughout whatever life throws at you could be one of the best choices you ever make.

Cancer: June 21st-July 22nd

Love is such a beautiful thing, but it is not everything. Feelings are incredible, but they aren’t always the things to rely on to believe someone is who you’re meant to spend your life with. It’s okay to crave and desire love, but manipulation and begging for it won’t get you very far. Your compassionate and emotional nature are such great assets to yourself and to the people around you. Don’t allow someone to take advantage of those parts of you just because you have fallen for them.

Leo: July 23rd-August 22nd

Love is the thing that will shake you up and humble you a little, but it will be in the best way. It’s okay to let someone else have the spotlight every now and then, and when you find the person you’ve fallen in love with, it won’t seem like such a big deal at all placing them front and center, being the one cheering them on for a change. You should never feel like you have to settle, but remember that love tends to show up when you least expect it, and if you’re not careful, you might just overlook what life had placed directly in front of you in favor of some dream you may never see come to fruition.

Virgo: August 23rd-September 22nd

Love is not perfect. It is messy, sometimes chaotic, and rarely does it fall into a picture perfect plan. Yet love is also a safe place, it is the thing we do the best thing we are capable of as human beings. Don’t be afraid to let someone into your mind and your heart, because love is willing to take you places and help you become more of the person you want to be if you’re willing to let it.

Libra: September 23rd-October 22nd

Love is not always harmonious. It brings people together and bonds them, but it also requires the willingness to continue during the hard parts and brings up times of conflict in order to keep the health of it alive. You are graceful and full of compassion, yet love has a tendency to knock us off our feet and make us rethink everything we know. Don’t be afraid of this. Don’t simply seek out people who adore you simply because they do. Wait until you find the person that makes you want to love them even if they don’t return the affection (though if they are the right person, they will without hesitation). You know love is one of the best things this world has to offer, so make sure the person you’re with is deserving of all the love you bring into every room you enter.

Scorpio: October 23rd-November 21st

Love is not just passion and fireworks. It is vulnerability. It is trust. It is consuming and it is consistent. Love is the thing that may not necessarily complete us, but it does bring out our best and worst qualities for us to examine and learn from. Love and lust are not interchangeable, though they might just come together for you if you’re open to it. Don’t be afraid to let someone see you for all your good and bad qualities, and don’t hold yourself back from expressing all the love you know you’re capable of.

Sagittarius: November 22nd-December 21st

Love is not dull. It is not a ball and chain, it is not a cage trying to hold you back from the life you wish to live. Love is something that is capable of growing and exploring with you if you’re willing to take the time to allow it. Love is the safe place to come home to after you’ve explored for so long, and it is also the thing that stands by your side as you tackle the world together. It is possible to be independent and still be in love. Don’t believe the two are mutually exclusive.

Capricorn: December 22nd-January 19th

Love is not a project. Love is not merely a goal to achieve, though it is something that requires work and diligence, which we know you’re quite skilled in. Love is not something to achieve and then place on the shelf while working towards your next goal. It is capable of being the support system to help you achieve your dreams, though. Love is meant to be shown and reciprocated, and it has the potential to show you the kind of person you are capable of becoming if you take the time to acknowledge it.

Aquarius: January 20th-February 18th

Love is not a game. Love is not meant to stifle you or burden you, but to encourage and help you grow. Love can be exciting, restless, passionate, and a host of other things you desire, yet it is also something worth waiting for, not something to push away out of fear of the unknown. Mental and emotional connection is essential for you to fall, and it’s okay to wait until you’ve found that. But don’t constantly push everyone away out of stubbornness. You’d be amazing at what this life wants to show you.

Pisces: February 19th-March 20th

Love is not always about feelings. Love is capable of stirring up incredible emotions within us, and it’s exciting and overwhelming in the best way. However, love is also more than just emotion. It’s full of choices, consistency, and dedication during the rough moments. You are selfless and loyal beyond belief, and many people would do anything to be the one you set your eyes on; remember that not everyone who wants you adoration is willing to return the favor. Don’t give your heart away simply based on how fast someone makes it beat, but be sure they are worthy of your adoration and affection in the first place. TC mark


Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com/lacey-ramburger/2018/11/everything-you-need-to-know-about-love-based-on-your-zodiac-sign/

1. Received a text message at 1:30am from a girl that I expressed interest in to come over and help her rearrange her bedroom. Turned out she couldn’t sleep and just legitimately wanted help rearranging her bedroom.

2. In High School I had a best friend I was secretly into. She invited me over to her parents house after school every Fri. Her parents were never home and she literally would strip naked as soon as the door closed and invite me to join in as well.

I’d comply…then nothing. We’d sit on the couch and watch tv eating popcorn both of us buck ass naked.

After 3 weeks of blueballing visits I tried to kiss her.

Total recoil and then she tells me she’s only into girls.

SIGH

Later that summer she invited me to a family bbq. Everybody there was naked including her parents.

Apparently everyone in that family just liked getting naked.

3. A drunk girl one night once approached me in a KFC and said she loved my hair.

I said thank you.

She then proceeded to chat and called me ‘really good looking’.

I responded (as a joke/ playing it cool), “Oh you flirt.”

She responded, “I’M NOT FLIRTING!” and stormed off.

I collected my chicken and left needlessly deflated.

4. A girl I was seeing in college started talking all lovey dovey on the phone with me almost every night.

The usual. She would stay stuff like:

“So what are you doing tonight?”

“I can’t sleep and I miss you.”

“No, you hang up first.”

“No, you.”

We see each other every day and studied together and went for dinners and I sent her home and a couple of months later, I confessed my feelings for her. She said that’s just weird and that she isn’t looking for a relationship. Then she got herself a boyfriend two weeks later.

5. Back when AIM was a thing, a girl told me about sex dreams she had about me, in explicit detail, more than once. Periodically, she’d take her shirt off on webcam, “cyber” (do they still call it that?), etc.

I’d see her in school the next day, nothing. Never wanted to date, or anything else.

6. We were hanging out in a nature preserve at night. She kissed me and took her top off. Turns out, she wasn’t into me but just REALLY likes attention.

7. She was sending me nude pics. When I made a move she acted all surprised and said it wasn’t like that. Coulda fucking fooled me.

8. This girl I liked freshman year of high school came up to me before a concert, mentioned a part of my shirt had become untucked and then proceeded to tuck it in herself, putting her entire hand down my pants so her hand was on my dick. Afterwards, she acted like nothing weird happened and ignored my now more obvious advances and got a boyfriend not long after.

9. She said she wanted a guy like me. She didn’t want a guy who is me.

10. Girl at work and I had been talking more and more over the prior two weeks, getting increasingly flirty both in person and texts. At work there was a lot of unnecessary physical contact that she would initiate. One of my co workers said “dude, she’s into you. Ask her out” So I did.

She starts laughing, then, after seeing the (I guess) bewildered look on my face, stops and puts her hand over her mouth. Then says, “Oh, you were serious? Oh. Oh honey… I don’t date below an 8, you’re a 6 at best.”

I know, I know, bullet dodged and all that. But still, that’s a heavy blow to the ‘ol self-confidence.

11. I met a woman at a bar, both early 20s, we went back to her place after leaving the bar, we talk and smoke weed. She excuses herself to the bathroom, comes back in tiny tank top and panties, sits down next to me and asks me if I’d like to lay down with her. So we crammed ourselves onto her couch and I held her against me and she kept rubbing her butt into my crotch so I finally made a move, she said “oh I don’t like you like that, I just get lonely and want to feel an erection against my ass sometimes”.

So I got up and left, went home and got drunk with my buddies.

12. I asked a coworker out and she said “yes.” I thought that was a good hint.

Next day she called me and said she only accepted it because I caught her by surprised and she didn’t know what to say, but she wasn’t interested in going on a date with me.

13. Was chilling with a group of friends, and she kept on sitting next to me.

Texted me a lot that following week.

Next Saturday we were chilling again, and again she insisted she sat next to me. We were going to watch a movie and at some point she just started leaning against me until she was basically laying on top of me.

Later that evening I decided to ask her out because all my friends were picking up the signal too

She gave me a kiss on my cheek, and told me she’d think about it.

The next day I got a text with “I’d rather stay friends with you”

14. Asked me to come over at 3 am with no explanation, then proceeded to tell me how surprised she was I thought she meant sex.

15. Had a few drinks at my place with a girl I worked with, after dropping hints and innuendos the whole night she ends up half-naked and literally gyrating on my lap. When I leaned in to make a move she says she’ll murder me if I tried anything.

16. I had some people over at my house back in high school and a girl grabbed me by the hand to go into my room with me without saying much of anything. I made a few attempts at getting things going, but she ended up just falling asleep with me on my bed. I was definitely a bit confused.

17. A girl I knew. She swiped right on me on a dating app, we matched. Apparently that wasn’t an invitation to ask her out???

18. A girl I work with sent me was sending very provocative Snapchats, the naked butt over shoulder pose, hand bra, wet post shower hair over her tits kinda stuff. We talked about sex all the time. Then when I was like, we should totally bang, she was like whoa, it would make work weird.

19. Kept inviting me to go places with her. Turns out she was “helping me cause I looked lonely.” I have never spoke to her again.

20. Girl literally kissed me on the lips and cheeks and hugged me and begged me not to leave her at the bar. She was with friends.

Asked her out the next day and she ghosted me.

21. She started talking really openly about her turn-ons, turn-offs, masturbation habits, described in detail the shape of her vagina, etc etc. Really personal stuff for a casual date between two college classmates.

“Oh you’re not my type though.” Imagine my confusion.

22. She sexted me and talked about our getting married in the future. Turns out she wasn’t interested.

23. A girl that used to kiss me a lot at parties invited me over to her place for dinner and beers, we watched a movie and I obviously thought I was getting laid, I started to approach her and she was really surprised by my initations. I slept at her place after this but we didn’t do anything.

24. We sext’d hard so I got the idea that she wanted me and when we finally met she wouldn’t even let me hug her.

I later learned that she wan’t the most mentally stable person.

25. Sent me pics of her legs from the bathtub. Two weeks later she was complaining to her friends that I wasn’t getting her signals that she wasn’t interested.

26. Classic “girl at the coffee shop”, but we start talking more each time. Gets to the point where she leaves her station to come say hi if she’s not working the front. I’m developing a bit of a crush, but it’s still well within the realm of normal barista stuff.

One day I’m going through the drive through, and she’s the one taking orders. On the way to my car, her tablet dies, but she comes to talk anyway. She gets somebody else to take over the line, and keeps talking with me all the way to the window. Next time I see her, it’s really busy, but I grow a pair and give her my number on a card, and ask her to call me later. Not the smoothest, but it’s my first time sticking my neck out since getting over a long term relationship that had recently ended, and I’m a bit rusty. She smiles and says “thanks.”

After that, for like two months, every time I came through, if she was there, she’d get somebody to take over as soon as she saw me and go hide in the back. Didn’t even get a “not interested” conversation, just a look of terror.

27. She said that I should ask her to the movies sometime. I did. She rejected.

28. At a cruise ship.

A girl asked me to come with her to her room so she could “change shoes”.

On the way to her room I got a semi and softened again like 3 times, thinking it was an obvious flirt.

Nope, she just wanted to switch into more comfortable shoes, and felt she needed company on the way.

29. Was a sophomore in high school. Had a class with a girl who asked me if I thought her ass was boney and proceeded to grind her ass on my crotch for about 20 seconds. She would also always ask me when I was gonna get my license so that I could give her rides home. I finally made a move after receiving my license and she said she didn’t like me like that. Still blows my mind.

30. Was a girl I worked with, she had quit a week or two prior and came in to get her last check and she came and hugged me, we weren’t on hugging terms when she worked there so /shrug, then she lingered to chat, and would stare at my lips while I was talking and she just kept hanging around even with some long pauses, like I should have asked her out or something, but I didn’t. About a week later I get her number from another coworker and we briefly text, I asked her out, she said no….. 6 days later…. I would have preferred no answer at all. Who knows, maybe she was feeling it when she was in there and a week later she remembered what I looked like.

31. Let me sleep over at her house in her bed. Even let me run home and get a bottle of wine and come back to her house. Tried to kiss her and she fucking kicked me out of her house and hasn’t spoke to me in a year.

32. Was in high school and worked a part time job with a girl from my school. She was pretty flirty with me at work. She always asked the manager to take a break any time she saw me go for mine. One time she had me hold her phone and told me to tell her if it vibrated cause she was expecting a text. It did and when I gave the phone to her to check it she jumped up and down laughing saying her grandma is visiting her for the weekend and was hugging all over me.

She ended up asking me on a date to go bowling. I show up and her friend that I’ve never met is there too. She ends up flirting with other random guys in front of me and wondered off with them leaving me alone with her friend. The friend then told me she would never do that to me and asked if I wanted to be her bf. It was so obvious she had been flirting with me the last few weeks just to try to set me up with her friend who far less attractive than she was.

I saw through it right away and noped out of there. Later at work the girl was like sorry it didn’t work out with you and my friend. The flirting stopped and she quit shortly after.

33. I needed a haircut for my friend’s wedding that I had been putting off until the last minute and since it was early September all the places I usually went and could get one quickly were full of kids getting their back to school haircuts. So after a long search I found a hair salon that could take me. The girl cutting my hair was very nice and we were talking about a lot of stuff, some things I thought were more than just small talk like local places we both went to and things we did when we were kids. She also mentioned several times that she was a single mother.

I took her constant mentioning of being a single mother to mean she was single so after I paid and left I thought about it for a while and worked up the nerve to go back and ask her out, thinking she had been sending me signals. When I did she told me she had a boyfriend.

Looking back I think she was playing up the mother part of “single mother” so I’d give her a bigger tip, which I did.

34. Friend in college. We spent a lot for time together. Moved apart eventually. But we would talk on the phone for hours a few times a week. Started saying I love you to each other.

One of her friends where she lives forces her to go on a blind date. She never says anything to me about it after that day. Continue on for months talking and saying I love you. She flies up to visit me. I ask her to actually make this official and be my girlfriend. She says she’s getting married in a couple months to the blind date guy.

35. I’m not a guy, but a bisexual female. I had a girl in my photography class who asked me every day about my life and so I told her a ton of stuff. We got super close and we were best friends for a bit. One time in photo class someone brought up how it feels to be touched for the first time and I joked that I wouldn’t know what that’s like. This girl straight up put her hand in my pants in the dark room and started to finger me and later when I asked her if she wanted to do that more she said “oh no I’m not gay or anything like that” (still got fingered though so jokes on her).

36. I found her in my room in my bed in her underwear at a party at my place in college. Turns out she was just getting dressed.

37. This one girl I know sent me multiple nudes without me asking, but then said she was talking to someone, and another sent me nudes except I asked for these ones, and she even flashed me while we were both in a pool, but she didn’t want to be anything more than friends.

38. Went to a girls place to watch the Olympics. It was our second “date”. She told me I could stay and sleep over because we had been drinking. Her brother and his girlfriend were there so I didn’t think anything of it. It started to get late and I asked her for some blankets and pillows to sleep on the couch. She told me that i could just sleep in her bed with her. I still did not think anything of it. Her brother gave some pajamas to wear and i changed and got into bed while the girl was brushing her teeth.

Next thing you know she walks into bedroom totally naked and gets into bed. It caught me off guard. I was suddenly filled with happiness. I move in to kiss her (we hadn’t before) and she said, “I am not ready for that”. I was so damn confused. I just said “ok” then rolled over and questioned reality until I fell asleep.

39. She gave me head, twice. Then proceeded to say that we were just friends. You couldn’t figure that out by the first time or?

40. Moved to a new town for a job and didn’t really know anyone. I got a haircut and the hairdresser seemed to be flirting with me, and ended up giving me her number. The next day she asks if I want to come over to her place. I’m like, hell yes.

I get there and there’s like three other people with her, and it turns out she was hosting a Mormon Bible study or something and was basically trying to convert me to Mormonism.

41. She had a birthday party when she turned like 15. At some point, she pulled me into her room to “dance alone with me”. She puts on some slow jazz, we start dancing. She even dimmed the freaking lights and lit candles. After a couple minutes I go to kiss her and she freaks out and leaves. My hormonal ass has never been more confused.

42. Back in high school a girl in my class openly told me that if she got the chance, she would have sex with me. She was kinda on the hot side so I tried to make smth happen and about a week later she was grabbing me all over, in-between classes, so I proceeded to grab her as well. She got mad and wouldn’t talk to me for a week. Was left very confused afterwards.

43. Friend from high school and I were hanging out. After talking for a bit, she leaned over and kissed me, and for the next hour we made out with her stroking my dick through my pants. Nothing further happened though. Next time I saw her (a couple days later) she was talking about her new boyfriend (I thought she was playfully referring to me) and then acted completely surprised when I went in for a kiss; stating “I just told you about my boyfriend.”

I was really confused. Haven’t seen her since.

P.S.

No alcohol involved whatsoever

44. I asked a girl to go ice skating with me for New Years eve. She excitedly said, ‘I’d love to!’

A few days out I asked her when I should pick her up. She seemed confused and said that ‘I’d love to!’ doesn’t mean ‘yes.’

I’m not upset about it. I don’t need to deal with that kind of mental gymnastics.

45. She asked me to drink wine and cuddle with her while shirtless. She had a boyfriend.

46. She told me she “liked me” and “would love to be in a relationship with me”, she even sent me nudes. So I asked her out and she rejected me.

47. Usually on Fridays after work I like to go to a coffee shop to catch up with some more work (Yes, I’m a bit of a workaholic). This girl who is about my age (late 20’s) works as a barista there, sometimes she has the Friday afternoon shift, sometimes she doesn’t. Anyways, she was always sort of flirty to me, which I initially attributed to her job persona.

A few weeks ago, she was there at the register with a group of friends and she was outright flirty (you know when a group of friends gets all silly and giggly), the moment I crossed the door they even said “Oh, here comes your coffee boyfriend!”. I played along, no awkwardness at all, it was a fun time; she even insisted I didn’t pay for my coffee (she didn’t take my money).

Couple of hours later, I’m done with my work and I approach her to say thanks; she apologizes in a very cute way, I tell her its cool, and ask her out.

“I have a boyfriend.”

48. Girl told me, “I have a crush on you.” I then asked her on a date and she said, “No.”

49. This happened in my last year of high school. I had a crush on a girl in band – I played clarinet, she played flute. We were both in the first row, so we sat directly across from each other, and naturally looked at each other during rehearsals.

At our school, all the graduating band kids were allowed to write a short blurb which would be included in the program for our spring concert. Anyways, concert day rolls around, and I’m hanging around backstage, flipping through the program waiting for the parents to start arriving. I eventually get to her blurb – her favourite band memory was “looking across at a certain clarinet player”.

Turns out it wasn’t me.

50. I’d been hanging out with this girl for a couple weeks, at the same bar, on and off. We’d flirt, make out, et cetera. she agreed to go on a date with me. Then stood me up. No communication, no nothing. So, I gave up, went to the bar we hung out at. She showed up 20 minutes after I did. With another guy. TC mark


Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com/january-nelson/2018/11/50-men-on-the-worst-mixed-signals-women-have-ever-given-them/

There was a full moon on November 23, 2018 in the sign of Gemini. This full moon was all about finding our peace in the midst of chaos. The full moon reminded many of us of the loss and devastation this year has brought as well as the unimaginable doors it has (and has yet to) opened. This full moon you were being asked to continue your quest, to focus on the positive things, to find peace in the noise, and to become humble with who you are. This full moon also brought a bundle of divine feminine energy that really emphasized and focused on opening ourselves up to opportunity. Needless to say, there is lingering energy. Here are 12 signs that November’s full moon is still affecting your body:

1. You feel exceptionally brave.

2. You find yourself longing for past moments but still remain grateful for the present.

3. You are truly prioritizing your health and what you need in order to live your best life.

4. You are starting to unravel your vision for your life and what you want it to look like, you finally are taking ownership of the life you crave.

5. Things are slowly but surly becoming a lot more settled.

6. You feel the desire and drive to set new goals for yourself, you are seeking productivity more than you are rest.

7. You are starting to understand what you want.

8. You have recently felt an insane amount of anxiety.

9. You find yourself not responding to everything like you used to, you’re learning how to make silence meaningful.

10. The truth you have been denying isn’t something you can ignore or deny anymore.

11. You find yourself turning inward rather than reaching out to everyone.

12. You are extremely focused on the future and really rebuilding it for yourself. TC mark


Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com/leena-sanders/2018/11/12-signs-novembers-full-moon-is-still-affecting-you/

Before you wish anyone a merry Christmas, you should learn more about the history of the holiday.

You hang wreaths and candy canes. You wear red and green sweaters. You kiss beneath the mistletoe and cut out paper snowflakes. But do you know why you do those things?

Here are the meanings behind some famous Christmas symbols to help you celebrate the happiest time of the year:

Christmas Trees

Evergreen fir trees have been used to celebrate winter festivals for thousands of years. These trees represent undying life, rebirth, and the stamina to endure the winter months. Originally, they were decorated with candles to represent the life of Christ.

Candy Canes

The white stripes on candy canes are meant to represent the purity of Christ. The red stripes are meant to represent the blood he shed while dying on the cross. Some also say the shape, which looks like a capitalized J, stands for Jesus.

Christmas Wreaths

The circular shape of a wreath represents eternity because there is no beginning and there is no end. Wreaths are commonly made from evergreens, just like Christmas trees, both of which represent unending life.

Santa Claus

Santa Claus is the english version of St. Nicholas Sinterklaas. Nicholas was a Dutch man who demonstrated wisdom beyond his years. He was extremely generous and legend says he even performed miracles. Santa was originally thought of as a skinny man, but over the years he became depicted as plump to make him appear friendlier for children.

The Mistletoe

Mistletoe has evergreen leaves and commonly grows on apple trees. It is seen as a sacred plant that represents fertility, good luck, and good health. It is believed that anyone who kisses beneath the mistletoe will be blessed with eternal love.

Christmas Bells

Bells are a celebratory sound. They are rung to announce a marriage — and they are also rung to announce the arrival of the season and to announce the birth of Christ.

Poinsettia

Poinsettias are a common Christmas decoration because they are red, which is the color that represents the blood shed by Christ. Some priests also believe the red star flowers are a sign of the Star of Bethlehem.

Manger

When Mary and Joseph arrived in Bethlehem there was not any room for them at the inn, so they were forced to find lodging elsewhere. They ended up creating a makeshift crib to welcome Baby Jesus, which you will see in most nativity scenes.

Snowflakes

Snowflakes symbolize purity, perfection, and individuality. No two snowflakes are alike, just like there are no two people or circumstances that are identical. They are a reminder that there is beauty in the unique.

Reindeer/Sleigh

Originally Saint Nicholas was depicted riding a horse, donkey, or sky chariot pulled by horses. However, because of the reindeer’s speed, endurance, and adaptations to cold, the story was switched and Santa is now pulled by reindeer in his sleigh.

Christmas Star

Stars are seen around Christmastime because of the star of Bethlehem, which guided the three wise men to the Baby Jesus. Stars can also represent a shining hope for humanity since Christmas is a time of hope and faith.

Christmas Stockings

Tradition says that Saint Nicholas threw gold coins down the chimney one evening for three poor sisters. They had left their socks hanging above the fireplace to dry and the coins landed inside of them.

Christmas Colors

Green represents evergreen plants. Red represents the blood of Jesus. Gold is the color of stars. White represents purity. And blue represents Mary, the mother of Jesus.

Angels

Christmas trees are topped with angels in order to represent the angel who appeared over Bethlehem to announce Jesus’ birth. Families can look up at the angel on their tree the same way all of Bethlehem looked up in the sky on the day of his birth.

Snowman

Snowmen create a strong contrast because snow represents the cold and coals (which are used for the eyes and mouth) represent heat. Snow is also a symbol of purification and peace.  TC mark


Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com/daniella-urdinlaiz/2018/11/christmas-symbols/

1. Pisces + Aquarius

The two weirdos of the zodiac. When these signs come together, you will forever be confused on what they’re actually having a conversation about. Sure, Aquarius won’t necessarily understand Pisces emotional state all the time but intellectual and humor-wise; these two are inseparable. The reason why these two actually work in the long run is because with air signs like Aquarius, the minute they feel like a bond has formed and they become comfortable around your presence, over time they will let you in emotionally. That’s why Pisces is one of the best water signs to befriend an Aquarius. Pisces is patient, laid back, and is more than willing to explore the existence of extraterrestrial too.

2. Aquarius + Virgo

These signs only get along because they’re both really smart. This pair is actually one of the most popular pairings I’ve witnessed throughout my social circle. When these two come together, you’ll be thoroughly impressed by their plans to change the world, their discussions on current events and the level of appreciation they have towards each other. The reason why these two work so well is because they’re both intellectually driven. Both signs posses a high level of knowledge through similar interests and topics of discussion that over time, through constant conversations on current projects, ideas bouncing off of each other on what to do next, and a sense of dedication evident on both sides, the essence in authenticity of a lifelong friendship establishes itself.

3. Libra + Scorpio

The reason why these two get along so well is because they both lead an all or nothing type of lifestyle. The natural intensity Scorpio has, mixed in with Libras consistent devotion onto everything they love making the perfect recipe for an influential partnership. These two are relentlessly there for each other, not just because they’re supposed to, but because it comes naturally to them. Although they will definitely have differences to work on, something these two should never be worried about is their one of a kind connection that will always be there no matter what happens.

4. Leo + Virgo

These two are one of the longest standing zodiac friendships ever. Regardless of Virgo’s constant need for practicality and logic in anything they associate with and Leo’s need for attention and affection; these two will ALWAYS be friends. There is something rare about Virgo’s level of dependability and overly evident effort that could easily make any Leo weak in the knees. Virgos go according to any plan given, Leos love consistency and goal oriented people. Leos are career driven and ambitious, Virgos love anyone who has a sense of direction in their lives. For the most part, Virgos are good listeners and possess a strong enough opinion that could make any Leo listen and take into consideration. One thing’s for sure, these two know how to get shit done- precisely.

5. Aries + Taurus

This duo achieves the perfect balance of giving and taking. Aries has the ability to show Taurus the benefits of loosening up and not taking life so seriously. Taurus can show Aries how to achieve their goals more efficiently and consistently. Regardless of how much Taurus likes its environment to be controlled and structured and Aries’ sworn oath to never take orders from anyone, these two actually work. This earth sign actually always seems to be a candidate through this fire signs pursuit for either a lover or a friend all the time. There’s just something about a Taurus that intrigues the feistiest fire sign to become its friend for life.

6. Leo + Cancer

This friendship is fueled by matters of the heart. Cancer is a natural sweetheart and Leo has a pretty big heart overall. Although Leo isn’t very big on expressing themselves emotionally, Cancer has the ability to reach that side of a Leo. This water sign has the ability to create that safe space Leos long for in order to communicate how they really feel every once in a while. Leos are action-oriented while Cancers are emotionally driven. Over time, these two will have developed the sweetest friendship anyone would sob happily towards. All vices aside, these two bring out sides in each other no one else could uncover. Leos give Cancers that strength and confidence to face the world fearlessly and Cancers give Leos the ideal environment in emoting their truest emotions; no matter how ridiculous Leo may think they sound.

7. Leo + Capricorn

Oh, the money-making machines. There is no other fire sign I could think of that’s more perfect for Capricorn to be friends with. This is a business match made in heaven. With Leos natural ambition and determination and Capricorns relentless work ethic, these two have what it takes to build an empire from the ground up. All business talk aside, these two make great friends. Leos actually love having conversations with this earth sign, they admire the way Capricorns glamourize the simple things in life. Capricorns are the biggest fans of the greatest side to Leos, they are deeply fascinated by the way this sign carries pain and struggle through the days they seem genuinely happy. I personally love this friendship a lot, it displays the perfect amount of effort, love, and dedication while constantly achieving success together at every corner.

8. Aries + Pisces

I honestly think these two always become friends one way or another because their birthdays are close to each other. Each of their elements, character traits, and personalities from both attract them toward each other no matter what. Each sign has what the other desires to have. Pisces is fascinated with Aries’ dominance and wishes it could command some areas in their own life the way this fire sign does. Aries is mesmerized by Pisces’ emotional transparency and wishes it could also express all of its inner emotions without hesitation like this water sign. These two have one of the most beautiful friendships in the zodiac because they fill it with life-changing lessons, unconditional support, and experiences that cause both of them to never be the same again.

9. Aries + Scorpio

The “power” duo. These two love feeling powerful. Regardless of the power struggle both need to overcome, they could actually achieve some pretty great things. Once their heads are together in something, their friendship would be described as two missing pieces of each others puzzle. Scorpio is the only water sign that can call out Aries more times than you can imagine and Aries is the only fire sign that can satisfy Scorpios intensity of having that upper hand in more ways than one. These two could actually rule the world, once they decide who’s turn it is tomorrow- or next week.

10. Scorpio + Sagittarius

This friendship is similar to an Aries and Pisces. Both signs want what the other has. Scorpio desires Sagittarius fire and charisma and Sagittarius is in awe of this water signs way of mystery and seclusion. Sagittarius is the light of Scorpio’s life. This water sign is unfortunately prone to doubts, fear, and a lot of what ifs. Having Sagittarius around as a friend in Scorpios life would be very beneficial and highly recommended to every Scorpio who isn’t friends with any Sagittarius yet. This particular fire sign is the most optimistic one out of all of us, this sign lives for adventure and always strives to live the best life they will ever live. This duo makes great friends in the long run because they will constantly be each others source of inspiration and aspiration throughout their lifetime. TC mark


Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com/nicole-garbanzos/2018/11/these-are-the-10-oddest-friendships-in-the-zodiac-that-actually-work/

1. I didn’t use a fork for a few weeks. Ate everything with a spoon without thinking.

2. Trading food. When I got out, I asked my girlfriend to trade me her chicken wings for my macaroni. Pure habit. I really could’ve just went to the kitchen and got more chicken.

3. When my dad got out of prison (10+ years) we nicknamed him Martha Stewart because he was such a clean freak. His home looks like an Ikea catalog, he has glass containers for his shoes, he wakes up early to iron/wash/scrub everything. When I lived with him for a year, I was grounded so many times over leaving water drops in the sink.

4. Not wearing shoes in the shower. Eating with forks and knives. Having salt and pepper for food. Not always having to watch your back. Being able to get food when you want it, and just get up and leave to go for a drive or something.

5. Not me personally but I know a guy that said after he got out he just wanted McDonald’s. When he got there he spent 20 minutes staring at the menu trying to decide what to order because he wasn’t used to having choices.

6. Staring at sharp things. Like theres no desire to use them inappropriately but you are just kinda shocked they’re there and available for use. You might be surprised what qualifies as a sharp object. I remember whenever someone tried to hand me a knife or something to cut veggies I’d be afraid to touch it. Glass was the biggest thing though, just mirrors in all the bathrooms. Real ones. I could smash that shit and have a big jagged weapon, I can’t believe this Italian restaurant has such a dangerous thing in their bathroom. Stopping thinking of objects as weapons is hard.

7. One of my foster sons came to us from juvie. Every meal his arm was around his plate and he woofed down his food. My mastiff couldn’t keep up. He always ate back to the wall hunched. Took my wife and I a month to show him no one would take his food and we had plenty more. Funny part is he went in the Marines and did 8 years got out honorable and is now working in corrections.

8. I still like having a stash of ramen packs somewhere even if I’m not going to eat them.

9. I don’t smoke, but every time someone offered me a cig I would pocket it. On the inside thats a bartering chip, took me about a month or two to break.

10. I eat fast.

I don’t sit with my back to the door in public.

I always scan crowds constantly.

I question WHY people are nice to me.

I carry extra clothes, water, and various other things in my car in case I need it. (Not a hoarder but harder to get rid of stuff)

I don’t like being away from home overnight.

11. Hoard feminine hygiene products. We were super limited on the number of pads or tampons they gave us. They didn’t give any to the women in holding cells. There was dried and fresh menstrual blood on the floor and concrete benches, and a drain in the middle of the rooms like they intended to hose down the room, but if they did it was not often enough.

12. Constantly looking over my shoulder. By far the hardest conditioning to break, which I haven’t and doubt I ever will, is the constant pessimism and cautious optimism. You see, when you’re waiting to work your way through court, get a deal, and get sentenced, you will have your dates changed 50 times, hope for certain things only to be disappointed, and any time you are told something hopeful it doesn’t work out.

As a result, I never get excited for something until it actually happens. When my wife told me we were pregnant (I already knew from her symptoms that she was but still, you never know for sure till you take the test), I was obviously happy, but because I’m always cautiously optimistic and rarely show emotion, I couldn’t feel comfortable or excited until I knew that my developing daughter was healthy. Even then, it didn’t really hit me till she was born.

You can apply this to anything especially big events. Getting engaged, planning the wedding, buying a house, ANYTHING. I still hear from my wife how i wasn’t crazy surprised or excited to be having a kid. I was, I actually was the half of the relationship who was dead set on a kid when my wife supposedly could’ve gone either way.

You just can’t get your hopes up or look forward to anything until it is here or has happened. I’ve been home over 7 years now and with my wife for 6.5. She’s truly the catalyst that motivated me to truly change my life and to not give any more of my life to the system, but she’ll never know how happy she makes me because she misinterprets my cautious optimism/realism for pessimism or indifference.

13. Taking as long as you want in the shower. For the longest time after I got out, I took less than 5 minute showers.

14. Doing laps. In prison, every time you get time on the yard, you do laps. Seriously, almost every single person does it too. When you get out, it’s hard to break that habit.

15. Taking a shit with my underwear up to my thighs to hide my junk. It took a long time to go back to pants around the ankles.

16. Making prison commissary-only food. Everyone around me thinks it is gross as hell to throw summer sausages, pickles, cheese, doritos, cheetos, and such into my ramen noodles, but good lord, I can’t stop, and I have been out for five years.

17. My ex would sleep a certain way all the time. To me it seemed like he was sleeping as if he was in a coffin, his arms crossed and wouldn’t move the entire night for a couple months. He eventually broke that habit.

18. The hardest thing has been to talk without using the words fuck, fucking or asshole in every sentence.

19. Realizing I can unlock my own door to go outside. Took me a while to realize that my roommates didn’t have to unlock it to let me out.

20. Isolation. I used to be a social butterfly but after spending so much time keeping to myself I don’t know how to socialize anymore.

21. I was only locked up for four months in total, all things considered I got off easy. Hardest habit to break was just doing something without telling someone else. Hard to remember that there’s no authority figure once you’re out.

22. I was released at the end of November after 3 years, and my biggest adjustment is grocery shopping. In prison/jail you typically can only go to the canteen once a week. And it isn’t like just walking into your local grocery store, you have to write all your items down in advance, so if you forget something, you have to wait another week to get it, or if you’re lucky, buy the item off another inmate. So it is still weird adjusting to being able to go and get groceries, hygiene items, etc. whenever I need them.

23. Definitely sleeping habits. Still haven’t broke them. Haven’t slept a full night in over a decade. Any noise and my eyes are open and I’m wide awake. I can hear really well. A raccoon comes nightly to eat scraps and cat food and I can hear him crunching outside on the porch from bed on the opposite side of the house (roughly 60feet away). Wide awake.

24. An ex-con who works for me always ask to use the restroom. I have politely informed him that there is no need to do that, he’s an adult and can use the restroom whenever he pleases, but he keeps asking and apologizing saying that it’s hard to break the habit. He even told me it’s hard to pee whenever he hasn’t gotten permission, out of fear he shouldn’t be going in the first place.

To get around this now he tells me “I’m going to the bathroom, you might want someone to cover my station” so I think we found a happy medium.

25. Lots of institutions are cold. And most inmate wear doesn’t have any pockets.

So every once in a while, I find myself still using my “jail pockets”.

It’s just sticking your hands into your pants to keep your hands warm.

26. The hardest thing when you come out is the lack of structure. I have so much anxiety because my whole day is not scheduled out.

27. Hardest habit to break was the desire to play cards, chess, and other trinket games no one wants to play with you on the outside. I’d go to friends houses and I’d say, “let’s play Spades,” and they’d look at me like I was crazy. I would play these games daily for hours… so I had a strong habit of wanting to do so. Everyone else was play video games, watching TV, going out, partying, etc. I just wanted to play Spades man.

28. Hiding my phone when someone walks in to the room, been out two months and I’m still like that.

29. I did 8 years. You have to wear an ID tag clipped to your left collar or upper left part of your shirt whenever you are out of your cell. It took a couple months out before I stopped checking for the ID tag on my shirt. Then about 5 years later, out of the blue, I subconsciously checked my chest for my ID tag when I left my house.

30. Realizing that I could jerk off to real porn instead of tattoos of naked women on inmates.

31. It took me a while not to get nervous when I hear keys. In prison the only people with keys are C.O.’s so if you heard keys coming that was a heads up.

32. After 4.5 yrs. First time seeing a touch screen drink dispenser at Wendy’s. It took me a while to figure it out, by the time I looked back 5 people were waiting behind me looking at me like I was stupid.

33. I actually found the habits I developed in prison were good, (brushing after each meal, working out, yoga, meditation) and were harder to maintain once I was back into my daily life…

34. I’m not an ex con, but I messed around with one for about 3 years… I promise I’m being 100% serious when I say this..after he did 1 year he came out and had new sexual preferences…. He was the first person’s ass I ate and he begged me constantly to do anal. He was also really into me giving him head in the shower. Prior to be locked up he wasn’t into those things. He also kept his room ridiculously cold and kept 1 blanket.

35. I’ve been out since 01, and I still can’t stop claiming my personal space. I’ve gotten better about it in the sense that I’m not aggressive about it right off the bat. Now I just tell people I need them to give me some space, and I tell them where is good.

36. Flushing the toilet every 5 seconds when I’m on it. Not that it’s a completely bad habit to “courtesy flush” but it is a huge waste of water. In jail, if you shit and someone caught a whiff of it, they would tell you to “throw some water on that shit”

37. Smoking. I picked it up there and haven’t kicked the habit yet.

38. Realizing I could just get up and go somewhere. That I could make plans tomorrow from a thousand different choices.

Hard to break the habit of checking everyone who enters your vicinity. It feels like you’ve gotta mark everyone off as a non threat.

39. Not being able to goto the free infirmary when sick or hurt.

40. My partner was locked up for six year in various state prisons. He still gets wide eyed when he hears someone call someone else “bitch” or “punk” even as a joke. His instinct to fight someone over the littlest things still hasn’t worn off. He’s really working on it though.

41. In 26 months the only habits I kept were the positive ones, hygiene and exercise.. The only thing I wish I had kept doing is reading, I read about 350 novels in 26mos including the 5 released game of thrones books 4 times. My hardest habit to break after release was eating all the damn time just because I could, I gained a easy 40lbs in the first 9mos of being out, even when you make a big store you still never eat good.

42. Being a recluse. Prison is a garage of a bunch of people that don’t want a thing to do with each other. Unless you’ve lived a certain lifestyle, there’s no one there you’d associate with under normal circumstances. You avoid having any reason to associate with fellow prisoners or the guards. You try to find ways to keep yourself from going totally mad. If you’re very lucky, maybe you’ll find someone to chat with when walking the yard, or to play chess with. Other than that, you try to live in a private bubble. It’s very hard to shake that when back out in the real world.

43. I had to stop myself from knocking when getting up from a table. Explaining why this happens also really freaked my family out.

44. Pacing back and forth.

45. My friend once told me he got hooked on watching news channels and crappy daytime television, he said he also enjoyed listening to AM radio now, even though he knows specific podcasts exist that are more tailored to him. He killed himself 3 years ago after getting a 20 year sentence just 1 year after getting out.

46. I find myself hoarding toilet paper under my bed. Sometimes I do it without thinking and I’ll look under there and have 10 rolls of toilet paper.

47. Being paranoid always looks over my shoulder and never letting anyone stand behind me. Even people passing on the side of me I’m always turning my head to see what they’re doing.food I could be the last one to eat first one done and I still stand when I eat around people.

48. Not an ex con but my step dad has been in and out of prison for the majority of his life, he always said that whenever he gets out of prison you’re so use to to it being loud all the time that when he got home he couldn’t sleep because it was so quiet.

49. I spent 72 months in prison for a tragic car accident that I had caused. After I was released I kept telling my wife exactly what I was doing without her asking. She thought it was funny at first but after a few weeks of it she was starting to get bothered.

50. I made sure I never consolidated enjoyable things. If I had a snack- I ate it and concentrated on it. If there was something good on TV, I watched it. Now, I’ll snack while I watch a movie because there aren’t enough hours in the day- but on the inside I was trying to make hours and days go away.

I’ve got a good job now, and nice respectable friends, but I still react to confrontational situations more quickly, decisively and… efficiently than they do. I’m able to pull back at the last minute, but it’s pretty clear that violence is not a tool in their arsenal. TC mark


Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com/january-nelson/2018/11/50-ex-cons-reveal-the-bad-habit-theyve-had-trouble-breaking-after-being-released-from-prison/

1. The instructor either seems to have trouble speaking in the language in which the class is being taught or their accent is so thick that it’s difficult to understand them. While plenty of people are incredibly knowledgeable about their topic of interest without being great at multiple languages, the fact of the matter is that you’re not going to learn much if you’re going to have to devote so much of your attention into just figuring out what the instructor is saying.

2. Claim that grammar and spelling is important to them when grading papers but their own PowerPoints and handouts are full of errors.

3. WHEN THEY READ THE POWERPOINTS WORD FOR WORD. I.CAN.DO.THAT.AT.HOME. TEACH PLEASE.

4. When the first thing they say before reading the 2 page, 1.0 spaced syllabus is: “I’ve been teaching for x years so I deserve your respect” or something like that. That’s basically a 100% accurate indicator that this person cannot be wrong and they will talk to you like you’re a piece of shit. They can’t earn anybody’s respect so they have to ransom it.

5. Pride in the difficulty of their course.

If everyone fails, it’s not for an inability to learn, but for an inability to teach.

6. “This class will be using a textbook that I am writing and editing during the semester.”

Translation : it’s going to be amateur hour. In addition to trying to learn new stuff, you are paying the school for the privilege of proofreading your professor’s book.

7. Think that their students should only focus on this particular class for the upcoming semester as if they should spend all their time on it.

8. “Get out the science textbooks and work on chapter 5, activity 1”.

Proceeds to sit down at their desk to do random shit on their computer.

9. If all your professor does is read from the textbook. Then drop that class! If you can. Sometimes you need it for your major, or a time conflict, but if you can. Drop it. You know how to read.

10. If they do ice-breakers not just on the first day, but the second day as well. It means they have no idea what they’re doing.

11. They keep stressing that the syllabus could change at any time and that you should check blackboard for updates.

Usually means they just threw together a syllabus to appease their department head and knows they won’t be able to actually follow it.

12. Reviews on RateMyProfessor. There are a few times that the student was just mad that they got a low grade..but more often then not, they are spot on.

13. Holding office hours but never being there doesn’t help anyone. By appointment only… but having zero availability also doesn’t help anyone.

14. A red flag that the teacher has a really bad ego problem is if they require you buy their books. Especially if they ONLY recommend books they’ve written.

Yes, you are the ONLY person who has ever written about James Baldwin. No one else has anything remotely worth adding to the conversation.

Also, using your students as a means of increasing your sell numbers/making more money is a shitty, egotistical thing to do.

15. The professor can’t stop making political comments, especially if it’s a class like Spanish or Calculus.

16. “If you arrive late then you’re absent.”

17. “I don’t allow anyone to record my class.” Has been said by every horrible professor I’ve had.

18. Anytime a teacher asks you to write or speak about your “opinion” when they actually just want to hear their ideology repeated back to them. Not only is that bad teaching practice but it also leads to very biased grading policies.

19. Anything related to “there will be material on the exam we do not cover in class.”

Had a math professor for calc II that just talked about the theory of calculus the entire class period, then we had to learn everything on the exams from the book.

Awful. Drop that shit immediately, find a different prof.

20. Has a PhD, yet cannot hold the class’s attention and consistently goes off on tangents.

Gets frustrated when students ask questions in the middle of said tangents.

Gives unusably vague guidelines on major assignments.

21. If the teacher makes any wildly personal comments on the first day, for example my philosophy teacher who told us all about his crazy ex wife the first day of class. That was a HUUUUGE red flag I should’ve ran from right away. He was a very emotional guy and graded people’s tests on how he felt about them/how much they participated in class. All tests were either essays or short answer questions, so no multiple choice to fall back on. It sucked. Several people did poorly simply because they never talked in class.

22. Spends the first 15 minutes of every class telling pointless stories about their personal life, to the point where you have to either drop the class or just accept the fact that you’re paying $200+ to hear stories about her cat.

23. If you can’t understand them because English is not their first language.

Not worth sticking it out.

24. If they mention that they are about to get tenured. Had a prof. who was trying to get tenured so was constantly gone to present different research he was working on, so he missed probably 20% of the class.

25. If you sit through the first 1-2 lectures and seriously don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about.

26. If you’re in college and have an instructor who spends as much or more time talking about themselves and their achievements as they do the course material then you better run. Unless it’s your capstone. In which case stroke their ego and get ready for an easy A.

27. When a tenured prof shows up to the first day of class late and seemingly hungover.

28. “I don’t believe in curves.”

29. If they treat the class like a high school class.

Had a professor proclaim NO CELL phones or she would take them away. Attendance was mandatory and if you are not going to be in class without telling her she will assume your lazy and fail you.

30. A group project worth a substantial amount of your grade.

Fuck group projects.

31. I had a teacher that was consistently late for every single class. It wasn’t 5 minutes late, it was more like 30-45 minutes late every time.

When students wanted to complain about her tardiness to the department, she would respond with, “Go ahead. I have tenure anyways. It won’t do a thing.”

32. “You should take this teacher, if you just show up for the final he will give you a passing grade.”

Fresh out of HS me thought that this sounded great.

First day of class, 45 chairs in the class are all full and there are people lining the wall to get in. Fast forward to the final, me and maybe 10 other people attend. I pass the class, even though the teacher was awful.

This was precalculus. I show up to Calculus the next semester. First class, “We’ll review the stuff you’ll need to know from your pre-cal class to succeed in this class. Here’s a practice worksheet.”

I couldn’t do a single problem, I had not learned a thing from my precal class and knew that I would have to retake it. In the long haul it pushed me from my science major to a liberal arts major. Would not recommend.

33. If the instructor casually says dumb, inappropriate shit.

Look, I’m all for an environment in which instructors can have fun, relate to students, not just teach course material out of a textbook. Those teachers are awesome. When I say “inappropriate”, I don’t mean telling a few jokes here or there.

I mean: talking about his “dog-faced” ex-wife on the first day of class. Yup. Good chance the dude is a huge narcissist who will waste time patting himself on the back instead of teaching, and designing tests to purposely trick students just so he can feel clever about being right. (Only had this happen once, but the guy was the worst.)

or I mean: when a teacher tries to be too relatable, tries to sell him/herself outside of an educational context, and eventually sends you a Facebook message earlier asking if you want to come by his place later. For some drinks. When you’re 18 years old. (Also happened to me!)

34. “I’m not grading any assignments this term, your grade rests entirely on the final exam.”

35. I once had a professor say, “You get 2 absences this semester. More than 2 and you fail. It doesn’t matter what the excuse is.”

Sorry, with older relatives who were sick and dying… and not being a psychic myself to know whether or not I’d get sick or if I’d forget to set an alarm, or any number of unforseable things… that level of rigidity and unwillingness to compromise isn’t worth it.

36. “I’ve never taught this before so I’ll be learning along with you.”

37. No one will get an A in this course because (insert some philosophical highbrow bullshit answer).

38. There’s a HUGE waitlist of students for a different section with a different professor.

39. When they really put down good students for small mistakes.

40. When the teacher doesn’t even explain anything, he just goes on youtube and shows the class a video and everyone is left without a clue of what is going on. I dropped computer science because of this, and I’m glad that I did.

Also, when the teacher hardly ever explains anything and insists in “independent research” , more like “I can’t be asked preparing lessons so just go ahead and do it yourself”.

41. The use of McGraw-Hill Connect if the class isn’t absolutely necessary.

42. 2-hour, in-class, pre-recorded PowerPoint lectures from 2008, ‘because it saves time for me, and please don’t ask questions until after the end of my PowerPoint’.

43. Professor claimed she didn’t allow people to step out of class to use the bathroom. “You’re all adults, not children, you can hold it.” Exactly lady. We’re adults, we paid to be here, and adults have to use the bathroom.

44. Was a freshman in college, needed to get some science credits with a lab… took geology because I wanted to try something besides bio, that I just took in high school. The teacher gave a speech the first day of class about how it gets under her skin that people take Geology because they’re required to take a lab and just “assume” that it’ll be an “easy A.” So, she said “this class will NOT be an easy A!” And then proceeded to make it hard as fuck. Like make it challenging so people will be engaged, but make it nigh impossible to pass just to prove a point.

45. “I haven’t quite finalized the coursework and grading so I’ll be adjusting them as we go along.”

Surprise assignments, surprise tests, way too many group projects. I should have known.

46. Tenured Organic chem Prof: “Any questions?”

50 hands go up.

Prof: “It’s a fairly simple concept, so you ‘ll get there. Let’s move on.”

47. “No laptops, all code will be handwritten.”

Yes that really happened.

48. Class of 80 averages a 40 percent on a test Prof: That’s what they get for not learning the material!

49. Personal experience, I literally dropped 4 classes my sophomore year ….

Prior to starting the classes the disability department contacted all of my teachers to tell them that I am deaf and that I would need some form of written/typed paper to follow along with lectures.

“I’m completely deaf…”

“Sit closer, I can’t give you special treatment.”

50. Over the winter break of my freshman year I was diagnosed with a degenerative bone disease in my knees which meant I had to use crutches for a while (then eventually a wheelchair for a time). I was late to my philosophy 101 class (due to adjusting to my newfound limitations). I apologized for my tardiness and tried to find my seat without making a fuss. As I was making my way across the classroom my philosophy teacher remarked, “Everyone, let’s just patiently wait for the cripple here to get to his seat.” It’s possible she had believed I was one of several skiing injuries that the student body had incurred over winter break, but either way after that first day I never came back to that class. TC mark


Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com/january-nelson/2018/11/50-red-flags-that-you-should-drop-a-class-without-thinking-twice/

The woman I’m never going to be always has her nails done. She’s never ripped an entire cuticle off while sitting in the Dallas Fort Worth airport due to lack of sleep and anxiety. She’s one of those people who can pull off nail art, who never snags the sides on her pants with the rough edges. She’s never been caught with a chip in her manicure—and she’s definitely never pulled a full set of gel nails off of herself because she was bored.

The woman I’m never going to be decorates for holidays in a way that somehow comes across as effortless while simultaneously induces a serious case of the “feeling very inadequate” emotions into the hearts of bystanders. She always has a Christmas tree. It’s real. It somehow doesn’t shed needles into the carpet. She’s never left a pumpkin out too long after Halloween and watched it wither and rot and shrink. She offers you a seasonal cocktail at the door of her perfectly styled apartment, not just whatever she happens to have on hand as she shoves the laundry behind the bathroom door.

The woman I’m never going to be knows how to style her hair into those Lauren Conrad beach waves. It never looks greasy. Her undercut is always trimmed and never feels like a Chia Pet who was neglected. She also never breaks out or has pores that ooze or even would think to say the word ooze because honestly, it’s disgusting. She doesn’t know how to spell split ends. She’s photogenic, even when she’s telling a story.

The woman I’m never going to be is balanced. She goes to yoga regularly and is never the person late for class, dodging around bodies in Shavasana and offering that “so sorry!!” shrug/smile as she tries to squeeze her mat in last minute. She always eats her greens. She never just eats potatoes and chicken over the sink. She can have just one glass of rosé without just saying “what the hell” and finishing most of the bottle. She is always in control. But in like, a chill way.

The woman I’m never going to be forgives her family for being human. She doesn’t roll her eyes towards people who reach out after years of radio silence for favors. She calls her mother regularly. They’re close. She feels comfortable being human in front of said family. She never feels the need to prove that she’s something worth paying attention to, something important, something, anything, to them.

The woman I’m never going to be is friends with her exes. She’s not an ice queen. She doesn’t block numbers like it’s going to win her some sort of prize. She remembers that somewhere between her and them and whatever used to be was something that at least resembled love. And she is okay with that. Happy even. She doesn’t write anyone off or set boulders instead of boundaries. The woman I’m never going to be knows how to remain distantly close with people who used to be her everything.

The woman I’m never going to be has a 5-year plan. She vision boards and manifests and meditates and is absolutely not the co-star in her own metaphorical movie. She can see where she’s headed, where she wants to go. And more than that, she’s directing herself on how to get there. She never feels lost, never feels like she needs a map. She’s her own compass. She’s never felt like she was anything else.

The woman I’m never going to be sleeps 8 hours a night, regularly. She doesn’t snore or sweat or drool. She would cringe at the word drool. She also always changes her sheets each week. She never eats in bed. She’s never found hair ties or bobby pins or someone else’s bra strewn about the comforter. She reads instead of scrolling on her phone mindlessly. She has a sleep mask. She’s always well rested and couldn’t tell you the last time she had a nightmare or jolted herself awake.

The woman I’m never going to be doesn’t throw away mail out of panic. She’s also never cried (or slept) in a bathtub. She’s never thrown up in an Uber. She’s never sobbed alone in a locker room. She’s never cut her own bangs because of a breakup. She’s never been impulsive or felt the need to maintain a level of interesting. She’s also still a brunette, probably.

The woman I’m never going to be doesn’t have little wrinkles forming around her eyes and mouth. She doesn’t use the same skincare products as me because she like, “Has really good skin naturally! I guess!” She doesn’t really worry about anything, and has definitely never discreetly checked her bank balance before swiping her card out of fear. She’s Pinterest-level perfect. She’s #goals. She’s unobtainable.

The woman I’m never going to be has never peed from laughing too hard, knocked teeth with someone while kissing, sucked her own bleeding finger instead of finding a Band-aid, killed a plant, killed literally ever plant, slept on a bare mattress, screamed in traffic, cared about someone a little too much from Bumble despite never meeting, or had a neck zit.

And that’s how I know. As I stare at the faded mark from neck zits past, the rough cartography of my own cuticles, and stare at someone who could smack my teeth every single time and I would go back begging for more. The woman I’m never going to be, is a woman who doesn’t need exist. TC mark


Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com/kendra-syrdal/2018/11/the-woman-im-never-going-to-be/

1. When something surprises you, say you are “shook.”

2. Use the word “slaps” or “banger” to describe something amazing or good. Like at my school whenever song is good they say something like “damn that song slaps bro” but instead you could use it in a way like “Your hair is a banger today, it slaps.”

3. Wondering what she’s up to today? Spice things up by saying, “Ayy what’s gucci fam? We’re heading to the park wanna join? It’s gonna be lit.”

4. “Your mother is DTF.”

5. Next time her friends are over, tell her you’ll leave them alone, but to “cash me ousside if you need anything”. Say it on front of her friends for max damage. Bonus if you dab before you leave.

6. When she gets upset, tell her she’s “being extra.”

Side note: it just means you’re overreacting, which she will do after about 2 or 3 of these terms.

7. Start calling everything she likes “wack.”

8. Deadass is a good word, it’s a synonym of actually and “I’m being serious.”

9. Just call everything “dope”, “lit” or “ratchet” and start calling her homie. Tell her she’s “on fleek” all the time.

10. Just say “whatup fam?” Then when they get mad yell “worldstar.”

11. “Fleek.”

I will give no context. No definition. For maximum embarrassment potential, all you need to know is that it’s an adjective.

12. “I’m literally screaming right now.”

13. Instead of saying you’re going somewhere say “im boutta slide” as in “I’m boutta slide to the store, what you need?”

Drop or misuse auxiliary verbs.

Instead of buying things, you cop them. I.e. “gonna cop me these Nikes” (pronounced like “likes”)

When they tell you to stop, reply with “you just dont understand the culture” and watch their head explode.

14. Instead of saying a curse word, EVERY time say “Damn Daniel.’

15. Bet. Use it in place of yes / I agree, etc.

16. “Vajayjay”.

So, you could say, “Do you need some tampons for your vajayjay?”

That would embarrass her.

17. Tag all of your texts with a hashtag. Bonus for #hashtag.

18. Call a girl she doesn’t like a “thot”. It means “that hoe over there”. Be like “omg that Lisa is such a thot”.

19. If she says something you disagree with, just let out a heavy sigh and say “ugh, swipe left” while making a swiping motion with one finger.

20. “YASSSS queen! You go girl! #Slay.”

21. Tell her mom is T H I C C.

22. (SAVAGE) If she finishes the milk, tell her she’s a savage. Says something mean or something not polite ask her, “Y U GOTTA ACT SO SAVAGE?”

23. Use the word clutch as a way to describe something great. Like – that party was clutch. You could use lit in the same way.

24. Greetings “Ay yo” – Hey “What’s good” – How’s it going/How are you doing/What’s up “Fam/bruh” – Any time you’re calling or greeting someone, you refer to them as such. This will replace bro, dude, babe, honey, sweety, etc. A few years ago the impersonal pronoun of choice was “homie” or “dawg”, but I’d go with the first two for maximum embarrassment. “Squad” – Plural of fam, but Fam can also be plural.

Leaving an event “I’m trynna dip” – I should probably take off
“Finna bounce?” – Should we head out?

Reacting to something crazy/shocking/amazing “BRUH” – No way, Holy crap “Furreal?” – Are you serious? “I’m dead/I’m sleep” – I’m incredulous as to what just happened “I’m shook” – I’m freaking out/shocked/amazed

Having fun “Dope/tight” – Cool “Turn up” – Have fun/Party “Lit” – Happening e.g. This club is lit “Get turnt” – Get drunk “Get lit” – Get drunk or high or both “Light up” – Smoke weed “Baked” – High on marijuana “Mobbin’ hard” – Walking/riding around with a big group of friends (mob)

Insults “You trash” – You’re very inadequate in some aspect of your life “You trippin” – You’re wrong/You’re mistaken, can also mean you’re making a big deal

25. Wuss good, ratchets? Boppin to them bangers, huh? Tight tight tight… well, I’m finna make sumn litty to eat, yall tryna cop? No? Haha savage. But forreal tho fams, ya moms DEADASS just brought home like 2 bags of pizza rolls if ya dig dem joints. Haha hella pizza rolls AF. Anyway… keep hustlin, earn that guap, stay yolo. Big Papa out, YEET!

26. When talking about objects say “A whole ass” whatever the thing is

Fam, pass me that whole ass remote.

27. Just use the word “meta” for a synonym for cool. “That’s meta fam” “meta shirt bro”.

28. Start a sentence with “for real”, except say it twice…as one word. “Forrealforreal, we should do x later” “but did you do your homework tho, forrealforreal.”

29. If she ever fights it say “triggered” and walk off.

30.“Sweetie, you’re at a critical point in your life. The choices you make now can determine the outcome of your future. This is why I need you to promise me you’ll take school seriously. The sky is the limit if you just try. I only tell you this because I love you and I want you to be woke as fuck.”

31. When going to a store say ” I finna roll up to (store name) right quick homie.”  Instead of asking how they are. Say. “What’s poppin B” Also tell them that their mom is DTF so they can stay out late tonight.

32. Slowly one by one point to all their friends faces. Pause. Look at your daughter. “You’re right. So dank. I can’t even. “

33. Don’t ever call her your daughter again. Only refer to her as “B”.

34. If she tells you to take off your jacket, just reply with

“Man’s not hot.”

35. When ever she asks you if you did something and you didn’t do, just say: “homie don’t play that.”

36. The phrase: “lit as af” in response to something being cool. Sure to get a rise out of her.

37. Next time she asks how she looks, tell her she looks extra basic.

38. Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang.

39. Just start saying “hashtag” out loud for example.. “ that food was really good. Hashtag tasty.”

You can get lots of examples on Twitter , if you start using the trending hash tags it would probably add effect.

40. Play “Now watch me whip” while whipping and doing the nae nae.

41. Ask her if she wants to watch Netflix and chill as INNOCENTLY as you can.

42. If friends come over call them fam. When you leave the room. Yell “I’m dabbin out!” And then flail your arms in the air.

43. That outfit is so fetch!

44. “Eskeetit!” (Or whatever the fuck Lilliam Pumpernickel a.k.a. Lil Pump says.

45. “You ain’t woke fam. I’m too lit.” Say that verbatim if you want her face to blush with embarrassment.

In lay man’s terms it means “you are not social aware/conscious as I. I am too cool.”

46. Call her bae and then dab.

47. I’m partial to saying “I’m finna pop a goog” instead of “I’m going to google this thing”

48. To agree with something she says reply “Factsssss!”

49. Say bruh after literally every sentence.

50. Wait till she’s in an argument with your spouse, or being slightly verbose in a public place, pull out your phone and shout “world star!” TC mark


Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com/january-nelson/2018/11/50-slang-words-you-should-steal-to-embarrass-your-millennial-daughter/

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